that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.
This may be the best gif we’ve ever seen. Ever.
I always wanted them to be friends with Smaug, but yeah, this is exactly what would have happened.
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.
Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors.
Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.
Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress.
Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm.
Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell.
In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips.
Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.
In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.
In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.
Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt.
Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.
Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.
Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.
Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breath
who smashes her way from the confines of her castle
and swallows men whole.
please tell me i’m not the only one that went “butt-butt-butt-astronaut” at first
no you’re not because i went “shit-shit-shit-poodle”
Women are magnificent.
One time in class we were talking about abortion and most of the girls talking were pro-choice and it was a generally calm discussion then one of the pro-life boys used the phrase
“if a girl is stupid enough to get herself pregnant in the first place-“
…he didn’t get to finish the sentence
im laughing so hard because of that gif.
In 1949 ‘authorities’ not only predicted women would be way taller in 2000, they also predicted the Xena look would be mainstream.
today someone told me they dont believe in the moon and i laughed for like 10 minutes but then i googled it and theres a lot of people who think that and now im not laughing. its all a fuckin lie man im not laughing at all.
fuck the moon in my opinion. its shit
Good thing ripped shrek blew it up in that one anime
"We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep. This song is ending. But the story never ends."
ooooooooh i actually like this a LOT
WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF JANELLE AS THE DOCTOR BEFORE